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[CA]Thrud Elderson

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Not open for further replies.

KisaValkyrie

Grizzled Veteran
D
Character Image:
*Ignore weapons and cat bits*
Character Name: Thrud Elderson
Pronoun Choice: she/her
Age: 21
Home Region: Sinnoh(Eterna City)

Personality Overview: Thrud has a strong personality that sometimes seems counter active to what she shows vs what she does. She looks grumpy and like she wouldn't be a nice person on the outside, but that's just her front to keep herself safe. She is actually pretty kind to those who have earned the right to see her kindness. She might be stony on the outside, but inside she's always looking for the good in people, and pokemon alike.
Five Likes: fighting, fruit, coffee, training her pokemon, flowers
Five Dislikes: Large crowds, spiders, Liver, mushy foods, annoying people
Hobbies: she's really into growing plants any place she can that needs it, and Karate to help keep her anger issues at a minimum.
Three Strengths: 1: Generosity-Even with how grumpy she looks she's very kindhearted and is always looking to help those that need it. She might not seem happy about it but she will be in the end. Pokémon and humans alike, if they are in need of help she will help. 2: Adaptive- she adjusts to changes in her life in stride and has acquired the knowledge on how to handle this and deal with the things that come her way. 3: Confidant- One she came into her self she never really stopped telling her self she couldn't do something. She always knew that with the right belief and effort she could do anything she wanted. She accepts a loss if it happens but she always strives to believe that she is doing her best, win or lose.
Three Weaknesses: 1: Anger issues! She was small when she was little in the orphanage and was picked on by the other kids for several years till she started learning how to fight and defend her self, but she can be set off rather easily. 2: Vain- She is rather proud of her looks and does enjoy flirting on occasion. She does as much as she can to keep her self looking attractive and does not take kindly to anyone insulting her looks. 3: Emotionally Guarded-she is NOT Good at showing her soft side or emotional side to anyone and if she does, then either everything is REAL bad or she really trusts them. It would take a lot for her to trust someone enough to do this. But she shows emotions around her pokemon.

History: Thrud has one very faint memory of her mother. Red hair, tall, freckles and golden, brown eyes. She smiled as she put her to bed. That was it. No memory of a father. No memory on what age she was at when this happened but she thinks maybe 4 or 5. All her other memories happened while at the orphanage. She didn't know why she was left, or if her mother was still alive. But growing up the way she did in the orphanage she grew hardened and tough, she stopped caring about her mother or why she was here, she just was. Growing up small and thin at first she was not always treated well or well liked. But when she was about 9 she met the new neighbor who was running a dojo out of his back yard and was willing to help teach her for free if she helped clean up and went to her classes every day like a good girl. Well that seemed worth it to her so she did as she was told. The man was named Shojan Hiromo and he had a hitmontop pokemon companion that helped with things in class and around his home. She learned and she was able to let out the anger she had, for being left, for being picked on, for being small and weak. She let it out but it also grew! There was always someone stronger. There was always someone else to fight. And fight she did.

Once the kids in the orphanage learned to leave her alone, she would walk the town and fight anyone who was being trouble in town. She helped those who were also weak and being picked on. She made a few friends but she only wanted to help protect those that needed it, she never fought just for the sake of fighting. Shojan saw this anger in her and tried to help her find inner peace. He showed her gardening and plants. Showed her how to care for them and let the anger out with out violence. She eventually got better at all this but she still has a decent temper that will get her in trouble a lot.

As she reached 17-18 years old she started to feel more confidant in her ability's to flirt with anyone who seemed interested, as she was not thrown off by gender. She liked men, and she liked women, and she liked anyone who didn't identify as a gender and she started trying to date and get to know others. But this just made life complicated to her so she stopped trying and just went about trying to find a place here. To look for pokemon and learn things. To use the tools that VCA had given her so that she could help explore and look for pokemon. She loved being out in the forest and grass. Looking for pokemon and getting to know more about them. Some part of her hoped that she might eventually find out about her family but mostly she just wanted to find new pokemon to help the VCA with study and classification of things on this new island. Finding new pokemon here would be wonderful and gives her something to focus on.
 
Last edited:

KisaValkyrie

Grizzled Veteran
D
------------------------
------------------------
HP
6​
Confidence
7​
Strength
⬤⬤⬤⭘⭘​
Dexterity
⬤⬤⬤⭘⭘​
Vitality
⬤⬤⭘⭘⭘​
Insight
⬤⬤⭘⭘⭘​
Tough
⬤⬤⭘⭘⭘​
Cool
⬤⬤⭘⭘⭘​
Beauty
⬤⬤⭘⭘⭘​
Clever
⬤⬤⬤⭘⭘​
Cute
⬤⬤⭘⭘⭘​
Brawl
⬤⭘⭘⭘⭘​
Throw
⬤⭘⭘⭘⭘​
Evasion
⬤⭘⭘⭘⭘​
Weapons
⭘⭘⭘⭘⭘​
Alert
⬤⭘⭘⭘⭘​
Athletic
⬤⭘⭘⭘⭘​
Nature
⭘⭘⭘⭘⭘​
Stealth
⬤⭘⭘⭘⭘​
Allure
⬤⭘⭘⭘⭘​
Etiquette
⭘⭘⭘⭘⭘​
Intimidate
⬤⭘⭘⭘⭘​
Perform
⭘⭘⭘⭘⭘​
Crafts
⭘⭘⭘⭘⭘​
Lore
⭘⭘⭘⭘⭘​
Medicine
⬤⭘⭘⭘⭘​
Science
⭘⭘⭘⭘⭘​
???
⭘⭘⭘⭘⭘​
???
⭘⭘⭘⭘⭘​
???
⭘⭘⭘⭘⭘​
???
⭘⭘⭘⭘⭘​
-----------------------
-----------------------
-----------------------
-----------------------
 
Last edited:

Nym

signed an NDA
D
Staff member
Mod
Hello hello! Nym here with official mod crit!
I love how fleshed out Thrud is, but I have a few fixes I need to see in your application itself. It's easy stuff, but this might be a good bit of reading (since I ramble), so feel free to reach out for clarification, if needed;
Personality Overview
This section is to discuss their personality in 6 sentences. What you have is discussing their history and hobbies, which the form covers later down. You mention her growing up in an orphanage and how that shapes her and her feelings behind the matter, as well as her skill in karate, but that should be moved down to the history and hobbies section. Focus on explaining what she's like. For example:
"Thrud is dedicated and diligent when it comes to her passions and goals. While she has anger issues stemming from a troublesome background, Thrud uses that anger to motivate her."
This is a good way of mixing together why she has anger problems (her background), but her ability to redirect that into something positive. You are absolutely free to DM me to discuss how to shape your 6 sentences if you need help!
Strengths and Weaknesses:
With strengths and weaknesses, we separate each trait with a defining word or phrase that sums up the trait, and then further explain it. For example:
Generous: She is always willing to help others around her and offer what she can to those in need.
Also, strengths and weaknesses shouldn't be actions; they should be personality traits! For example, training is not needed in strengths, as it's evident by her character sheet and the stats you attributed to her. She likes training, so instead you could switch that to patient, helpful, or generous (as noted above, because it IS quite generous of her to both like to help others and offer free training)!
Same with reading; that isn't a useable strength as it's an action. It doesn't explain how her personality benefits from the activity and instead notes a hobby, which should be in the dedicated hobbies section. You can translate her interest in reading to fairly educated due to her consumption of books, or retaining information quickly.
Drinking being a weakness follows the same vein --an action. It isn't a core reflection of her personality. You can word something similar, like poor impulse control, or doesn't plan ahead.
HOWEVER, anger issues and being emotionally closed off are great weaknesses! They just need the right formatting. That defines her personality, so that's exactly what we want to see!
History:
This is not a "fix it" note! LGBT+ is handled differently in each region, like our world. In saying that, the most "upset" anyone is going to get in this world is removing someone from the family. For a lot of places and people, it's not an issue. There is no threat of death or violence due to being part of the LGBT+. I just wanted to make sure that was known, but also the region Thrud is from (Sinnoh) has a lot of traditionalist and conservative households and groups, so that does work!
Pokemon Post:
Your third post should be removed. Open applications are not meant to store pokemon and we have a hard rule about only using the form + stat page.
Conclusion:
I like Thrud a lot! I think a lot of the changes are due to being a new player in a new shop! I am here for DMs if you need any help with these changes, but you have a good core concept of Thrud and it should be relatively smooth to adjust!
 

Nym

signed an NDA
D
Staff member
Mod
Hello! It's meee-
Personality:
All good to go! I can see who they are now!
Strengths:
I like the updates you've done! However, generosity and compassion are very similarly worded and work more as a single trait. Both mention wanting to help others and going out of their way to do so. Generosity is typically a subcomponent of compassion, anyway, and with both traits encompassing the exact same reasons and drive for both traits it would be best to remove one (I'd recommend generosity!) and work on a different third strength!
Weaknesses:
Weakness 3 does not have a defining word(s) to label it like the other traits do (Vain, Anger Issues, Compassionate, etc). You could word it by putting Emotionally Guarded, or something similar!
Conclusion:
Very minor fixes! Thank you for bearing with me!
 

Nym

signed an NDA
D
Staff member
Mod
Healing is another action-based trait and is still covered a lot by generosity. It also doesn't express a trait that benefits her, directly. It's helping others. The application is to focus on her and how her traits influence her day-to-day life!
A suggestion for a third trait could be something related to her training, like Diligent, Organized, or Natural Leader. If you're unsure where to begin I have a super useful site that generates character traits! It can help you lock down that pesky third trait down.
Once we figure this third trait out you'll be good to go! She's looking great! Repost this thread into #help-me once you've edited your application again (and added the mod ready title again!). 💚
 

Nym

signed an NDA
D
Staff member
Mod
Approved!

Code:
[B]Character Image[/B]: [IMG width="205px"]https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/533136195216080927/985320706076192788/ThrudMaster.png[/IMG] *Ignore weapons and cat bits*
[B]Character Name[/B]: Thrud Elderson
[B]Pronoun Choice[/B]: she/her
[B]Age[/B]: 21
[B]Home Region[/B]: Sinnoh(Eterna City)

[B]Personality Overview[/B]: Thrud has a strong personality that sometimes seems counter active to what she shows vs what she does. She looks grumpy and like she wouldn't be a nice person on the outside, but that's just her front to keep herself safe. She is actually pretty kind to those who have earned the right to see her kindness. She might be stony on the outside, but inside she's always looking for the good in people, and pokemon alike.
[B]Five Likes[/B]: fighting, fruit, coffee, training her pokemon, flowers
[B]Five Dislikes[/B]: Large crowds, spiders, Liver, mushy foods, annoying people
[B]Hobbies[/B]: she's really into growing plants any place she can that needs it, and Karate to help keep her anger issues at a minimum.
[B]Three Strengths[/B]: 1: Generosity-Even with how grumpy she looks she's very kindhearted and is always looking to help those that need it. She might not seem happy about it but she will be in the end. Pokémon and humans alike, if they are in need of help she will help. 2: Adaptive- she adjusts to changes in her life in stride and has acquired the knowledge on how to handle this and deal with the things that come her way. 3: Confidant- One she came into her self she never really stopped telling her self she couldn't do something. She always knew that with the right belief and effort she could do anything she wanted. She accepts a loss if it happens but she always strives to believe that she is doing her best, win or lose.
[B]Three Weaknesses[/B]: 1: Anger issues! She was small when she was little in the orphanage and was picked on by the other kids for several years till she started learning how to fight and defend her self, but she can be set off rather easily. 2: Vain- She is rather proud of her looks and does enjoy flirting on occasion. She does as much as she can to keep her self looking attractive and does not take kindly to anyone insulting her looks. 3: Emotionally Guarded-she is NOT Good at showing her soft side or emotional side to anyone and if she does, then either everything is REAL bad or she really trusts them. It would take a lot for her to trust someone enough to do this. But she shows emotions around her pokemon.

[B]History[/B]: Thrud has one very faint memory of her mother. Red hair, tall, freckles and golden, brown eyes. She smiled as she put her to bed. That was it. No memory of a father. No memory on what age she was at when this happened but she thinks maybe 4 or 5. All her other memories happened while at the orphanage. She didn't know why she was left, or if her mother was still alive. But growing up the way she did in the orphanage she grew hardened and tough, she stopped caring about her mother or why she was here, she just was. Growing up small and thin at first she was not always treated well or well liked. But when she was about 9 she met the new neighbor who was running a dojo out of his back yard and was willing to help teach her for free if she helped clean up and went to her classes every day like a good girl. Well that seemed worth it to her so she did as she was told. The man was named Shojan Hiromo and he had a hitmontop pokemon companion that helped with things in class and around his home. She learned and she was able to let out the anger she had, for being left, for being picked on, for being small and weak. She let it out but it also grew! There was always someone stronger. There was always someone else to fight. And fight she did.

Once the kids in the orphanage learned to leave her alone, she would walk the town and fight anyone who was being trouble in town. She helped those who were also weak and being picked on. She made a few friends but she only wanted to help protect those that needed it, she never fought just for the sake of fighting. Shojan saw this anger in her and tried to help her find inner peace. He showed her gardening and plants. Showed her how to care for them and let the anger out with out violence. She eventually got better at all this but she still has a decent temper that will get her in trouble a lot.

As she reached 17-18 years old she started to feel more confidant in her ability's to flirt with anyone who seemed interested, as she was not thrown off by gender. She liked men, and she liked women, and she liked anyone who didn't identify as a gender and she started trying to date and get to know others. But this just made life complicated to her so she stopped trying and just went about trying to find a place here. To look for pokemon and learn things. To use the tools that VCA had given her so that she could help explore and look for pokemon. She loved being out in the forest and grass. Looking for pokemon and getting to know more about them. Some part of her hoped that she might eventually find out about her family but mostly she just wanted to find new pokemon to help the VCA with study and classification of things on this new island. Finding new pokemon here would be wonderful and gives her something to focus on.
Code:
[CENTER][/CENTER]
[TABLE]
[TR]
[TD][CENTER][COLOR=rgb(106, 106, 106)]------------------------[/COLOR][/CENTER][/TD]

[TD][CENTER][COLOR=rgb(106, 106, 106)]------------------------[/COLOR][/CENTER][/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD][CENTER]HP
6[/CENTER][/TD]

[TD][CENTER]Confidence
7[/CENTER][/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
[TABLE]
[TR]
[TD][CENTER]Strength
⬤⬤⬤⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]

[TD][CENTER]Dexterity
⬤⬤⬤⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]

[TD][CENTER]Vitality
⬤⬤⭘⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]

[TD][CENTER]Insight
⬤⬤⭘⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
[TABLE]
[TR]
[TD][CENTER]Tough
⬤⬤⭘⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]

[TD][CENTER]Cool
⬤⬤⭘⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]

[TD][CENTER]Beauty
⬤⬤⭘⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]

[TD][CENTER]Clever
⬤⬤⬤⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]

[TD][CENTER]Cute
⬤⬤⭘⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
[TABLE]
[TR]
[TD][CENTER]Brawl
⬤⭘⭘⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]

[TD][CENTER]Throw
⬤⭘⭘⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]

[TD][CENTER]Evasion
⬤⭘⭘⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]

[TD][CENTER]Weapons
⭘⭘⭘⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD][CENTER]Alert
⬤⭘⭘⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]

[TD][CENTER]Athletic
⬤⭘⭘⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]

[TD][CENTER]Nature
⭘⭘⭘⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]

[TD][CENTER]Stealth
⬤⭘⭘⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD][CENTER]Allure
⬤⭘⭘⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]

[TD][CENTER]Etiquette
⭘⭘⭘⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]

[TD][CENTER]Intimidate
⬤⭘⭘⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]

[TD][CENTER]Perform
⭘⭘⭘⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD][CENTER]Crafts
⭘⭘⭘⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]

[TD][CENTER]Lore
⭘⭘⭘⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]

[TD][CENTER]Medicine
⬤⭘⭘⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]

[TD][CENTER]Science
⭘⭘⭘⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD][CENTER]???
⭘⭘⭘⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]

[TD][CENTER]???
⭘⭘⭘⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]

[TD][CENTER]???
⭘⭘⭘⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]

[TD][CENTER]???
⭘⭘⭘⭘⭘[/CENTER][/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD][CENTER][COLOR=rgb(106, 106, 106)]-----------------------[/COLOR][/CENTER][/TD]

[TD][CENTER][COLOR=rgb(106, 106, 106)]-----------------------[/COLOR][/CENTER][/TD]

[TD][CENTER][COLOR=rgb(106, 106, 106)]-----------------------[/COLOR][/CENTER][/TD]

[TD][CENTER][COLOR=rgb(106, 106, 106)]-----------------------[/COLOR][/CENTER][/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
 
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