[PRP] No Words (Duskpaw/Skysong)

[belloblossom]

Duskpaw had been having a hard time of it since the battle. While he hadn't been injured and none of his loved ones were either. The latter was easier to fulfill because Duskpaw had no loved ones within the Clan. He had his parents in the barn and he had his mentor, Sunseer here, but he had been struggling to connect to any other cats in the Clan. He had been so determined to be a good apprentice to Sunseer, the literal leader of the Clan or to prove himself to Skysong, who had been so doubtful of his presence in the Clan. Bittersweet was the realization that he had been a good apprentice - he'd ran to get Sunseer when he saw the fighting begin and Sunseer had ultimately ended the battle. But he didn't have anyone to talk to about the aftermath, and the aftermath was affecting Duskpaw.

There were injured TreeClan cats in the medicine cat den and cats were leaving StoneClan. He thought about leaving the Clan too and returning home, once or twice. He hadn't shed his own blood or attacked any cat during the battle, he'd just run off. Any cat could've run to get Sunseer, he wasn't special for his actions. He was little more than useless. He became determined not to be useless. Duskpaw started to stick to Sunseer's side more often. If his only talent was fetching things or cats for his leader then he would be the best at it. He wouldn't meet the eyes of other warriors, especially those who had fought in the battle. He worked himself harder every day and when he was released to his apprentices den for the end of the night, he slept fitfully. More than once, he was woken by his den mate, Steadypaw, for kicking out in his sleep and disturbing the larger apprentice.

Sometimes he would get distracted mid-task and fall still mid-walk. He was doing so now, standing in front of the fresh kill pile. He'd come here to fetch Sunseer and himself a meal - it was important to eat, even when you didn't feel like eating, because a cat needs his energy. Duskpaw had been staring at the pile, trying to decide if he wanted a fish or a shrew, when his eyes had gone blank and his jaw tightened. His tail twitched from side to side and he pictured the fighting, the sounds of cats dying and screaming for their loved ones. The scent of blood filled his nose, the screaming in his ears, he could see the cats fighting in front of him and he dug his claws into the earth below him, but felt himself rooted in to the spot, forced to resee the horrors his Clan had endured again, trapped in a waking nightmare. @Blinded By Silence